# 🌈✨TERMS OF SERVICE AGREEMENT✨🌈
**FOR CONSUMPTION OF THE “GEAN NEAN WANDSICH” (THE “SANDWICH”)**
**EFFECTIVE DATE:** THE VERY MOMENT U EVEN **THINK** ABOUT EATING IT.
---
## 1. 🥪 DEFINITIONS
1.1. **"Sandwich"** refers exclusively to the edible construct known colloquially, spiritually, and metaphysically as the “Gean Nean Wandsich,” composed of unknown but potentially eldritch ingredients.
1.2. **"Consumer"** refers to any person, entity, cryptid, being of light, or otherwise that attempts to, intends to, or accidentally consumes, inhales, absorbs, or communes with said Sandwich.
1.3. **"Bite"** means any interaction wherein one’s oral cavity is used to make contact with any part of the Wandsich in a manner that results in separation or ingestion.
---
## 2. 🔏 ACCEPTANCE OF TERMS
2.1. By unwrapping, sniffing, gazing upon, referencing in conversation, or otherwise initiating consumption of the Sandwich, Consumer hereby acknowledges and agrees to be irrevocably bound to these Terms.
2.2. If you do not agree to these Terms, **do not eat the Sandwich.** Return it to its gilded containment sarcophagus and walk away slowly.
---
## 3. 👄 RULES OF CONSUMPTION
3.1. The Sandwich must be eaten with **reverence**, **caution**, and ideally a napkin.
3.2. Absolutely NO:
* Sharing the Sandwich with crows.
* Dipping the Sandwich in mayonnaise made after midnight.
* Referring to the Sandwich as “mid.”
* Attempting to understand its internal structure using scientific instruments.
3.3. The first bite must be taken with the **left side** of the mouth. Failure to do so may result in spontaneous enlightenment or nosebleeds.
3.4. Do not taunt the Sandwich. It remembers.
---
## 4. 💥 WAIVER OF LIABILITY
4.1. The creators, distributors, mystics, and sandwichologists behind the Gean Nean Wandsich are NOT responsible for any of the following outcomes:
* Sudden fluency in extinct dialects.
* Temporary loss of elbows.
* Vivid dreams involving goats.
* A newfound obsession with citrus-based philosophy.
* Becoming a minor deity in a pocket dimension.
4.2. By consuming the Sandwich, you assume full responsibility for any and all changes to your physical, emotional, spiritual, or psychic form.
---
## 5. ⚖️ OWNERSHIP AND INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY
5.1. All intellectual rights related to the Sandwich, including the concept of flavor, are owned by the **Wandsich Syndicate**, a shadowy collective operating somewhere near Belgium (but also nowhere at all).
5.2. You may not reverse-engineer, replicate, or even *think too hard about* the Sandwich without express, telepathic permission.
---
## 6. 🔄 RETURNS & REFUNDS
6.1. No returns.
6.2. No refunds.
6.3. No regerts.
---
## 7. 🌀 TIME DILATION & DIMENSIONAL CLAUSES
7.1. Eating the Sandwich may result in experiencing **time backwards**, **sideways**, or in **musical form**. We are not responsible for lost time, memories of future events, or déjà vu that hasn’t happened yet.
7.2. If you find yourself transported to a dimension composed entirely of soft jazz and wet tile, remain calm and chew slowly.
---
## 8. 📣 COMMUNICATIONS
8.1. All correspondence regarding the Sandwich must be conducted via:
* Whispers into a mason jar at sunset.
* Morse code tapped on toast.
* A single haunting scream.
---
## 9. 🧠 POST-CONSUMPTION AGREEMENT
9.1. After consumption, you agree to:
* Speak fondly of the Sandwich.
* Protect its secrets.
* Never attempt to make one yourself (this is **critical**).
* Wake up each morning grateful for the Wandsich and afraid.
---
## 10. 🔚 TERMINATION
10.1. This Agreement terminates only upon full digestion of the Sandwich, which may take up to 7,000 years depending on how it settles in your third stomach.
---
11. ✍️ FINAL CLAUSE
11.1. The Sandwich is eternal.
11.2. You are not.
---
**BY TAKING A SINGLE BITE OF THE GEAN NEAN WANDSICH, YOU AGREE TO EVERYTHING ABOVE, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.**
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED.
ENJOY YOUR WANDSICH.
🕯️🥪🕯️